Everything You Want
by castielhummel
Summary: Sebastian loves Kurt, but the feeling is not mutual-title and inspiration from the vertical horizon song


Here he was again, watching Kurt cry in his kitchen. Sebastian had been through this countless times. Kurt would start dating some loser then sooner or later he would end up here. In his apartment, sitting at his kitchen table, crying over his latest breakup. He would whine how unfair life was. And why did this always happen to him. Sebastian, of course, was always there to comfort him. Tell him he didn't need a loser like Ryan, or Tim, or whatever the latest guys name was. Sebastian would be there for Kurt, tell him all the things he wanted to hear. But not this time. Not today. Sebastian couldn't take another minute of his crying and he finally snapped.

"I don't care" Sebastian said suddenly, cutting Kurt off from his latest boy trouble rant.

Kurt wiped his eyes, looking at Sebastian in shock "Excuse me? You're my best friend, I thought I could come to you with my problems" his voice breaking "I thought you would understand."

Sebastian sighed "I am. I do. But why don't you ever go to Rachel, with this stuff" Sebastian rubbed his eyes, he looked at Kurt "You know what this is about."

Kurt looked away, avoiding his gaze "I thought you were over that" he whispered sadly.

Sebastian let out a hollow laugh "yeah I just got over being in love with you, cause its that easy."

Sebastian had reconnected with Kurt in New York. They constantly ran into each other at the coffee shop and eventually the mutual hatred had turned into a muted dislike. Then they became civil acquaintances and finally friends. By that time Kurt and Blaine had been done for a few months and Kurt was casually dating. They hooked up on New Years Eve 2013, but that was it, they both knew it was a drunken mistake. Expect it wasn't for Sebastian. He couldn't stop thinking about that night. Soon he realized he wanted more. They had both grown out of their high school hatred and loved each other as friends, but that night had awakened something inside of him that he didn't know. He was in love with Kurt.

When he finally told Kurt how he felt, he learned the horrible truth, Kurt didn't feel the same. He loved him as a friend and nothing more. He didn't want to ruin their friendship, plus he said 'you don't really love me, you just loved the sex'. Sebastian laughed it off, telling Kurt he was probably right. But Sebastian knew better. He knew how he felt, but if Kurt didn't want to try then he would drop it because he didn't want to lose him as a friend. He swore to himself he would never bring it up again. Until now.

Kurt was crying again, but this wasn't about the breakup "Sebastian, please don't do this. Not now."

Sebastian started pacing the room "No, we are going to do this, because here you are crying over another failed relationship, again, when I'm right here. I'm right here, Kurt" his voice breaking, he went to Kurt and knelled down in front of him "Why don't you want me? You know we would be so good together. So good." He took Kurt's hands, kissing them softly "Please, Kurt" he pleaded "why not me?" He looked up at him, his eyes brimming with tears.

"I don't know" Kurt sobbed "Don't you think I've tried? Do you think it's fun for me, going out with these guys and it always ending in heartbreak when I know you once told me you love me? I've thought about it a thousand times. We would be great together, I know that, but it's not fair to you" he kissed Sebastian on the forehand, getting up from his seat, he walked to the other side of the room. Sebastian didn't move.

"I love you so much Sebastian, but only as a friend. It wouldn't be right if we got together and that's all my love was, if I could never love you like you deserve. More than anything I wish I could make you happy, but I can't. I just can't" he sobbed "I'm sorry, Sebastian."

Sebastian slowly got off the floor, wiping his tears "You should go" he said, voice tense.

Kurt gasped "No, please, Sebastian don't do this" he started to move closer but stopped when Sebastian held up his hand.

"I love you Kurt, more than you love me and I know you don't feel the same way. I have known for a long time that you don't and probably never would or could, really, I shouldn't have brought it up." He went to the door and opened it "I just need some time alone."

Kurt stood there "Sebastian…" he said softly, although what to say he didn't know. He flinched when Sebastian looked at him with tear filled eyes.

"Kurt, please. I just need time."

Kurt nodded, walking towards the door "will we be ok?" he asked before stepping out into the hall.

Sebastian smiled sadly "Always." Because it was true, they were friends, that would never change. No matter how much it hurt to see Kurt with someone else, he never wanted to lose that friendship. Kurt meant too much to him to lose him completely.

Kurt smiled and left. Walking down the hall alone he started to cry again. Why can't I just love him, he thought sadly, knowing Sebastian was everything he wanted, and hating himself a little for not feeling the same way.

Sebastian closed the door, he slumped against it, sliding down to sit on the floor. "Why can't he love me" he said, breaking down completely.


End file.
